Parental Finance 101

Top 5 Reasons This Gen Xer Is Thinking About Long-Term Care Insurance

1. Because I don’t have kids.

2. Because my three sets of inherited dishes have zero value.

3. Because I’ve already cashed in gold cufflinks.

4. Because I want to age in place.

5. Because anecdotal evidence. Also known as: my mom.

I get super nostalgic about my period. I miss getting it every month. Just like my phone counts my steps, it tracks how long it’s been since my last period. (Currently: 1,418 days.)

Life was so much simpler when my period showed up every 28 days. It was like General Hospital: predictable, punctual, and oddly comforting. It never hurt much, it wasn’t heavy, and it explained everything—my mood, mild cramps, and like a long running soap opera it went really well with a bag of popcorn and a Snickers bar. Plenty of women had it far worse than me—undiagnosed endometriosis, excruciating cramps, days out of school or work, industrial-sized boxes of pads and tampons.

Menopause hasn’t hit me that bad either—my wife Sandra might have a slightly different opinion. While breezing through the changes of my body, I believed that, for some unknown reason, I was chosen to win the lady lottery.

Until I got hit with the worst pain imaginable. Symptoms included: night sweats, gut wrenching pain, nausea, and rocking back and forth in fetal position. My monthly pain arrived in the form of my mother’s bills. When you’re taking care of your aging parents, the bills come at you faster than you can say, “It’s next month already?!” The supplemental health insurance bill, the pharmacy bill, the psychiatrist bill, the assisted living bill…and waiting for their social security payment to land in their checking account to cover some of the bills, excruciating. Not to mention your own bills, your own adult living expenses, your own life that doesn’t stop because you are now caring for your parent’s lives. That’s a cycle I don’t miss.

It sounds a little macabre, but there is a strange silver lining when your parents pass: you get to stop paying the bills.

But the part I really didn’t miss was calling Jimmy. Jimmy was my mom’s first cousin through marriage and the person managing her money. Absolute gem. Calm voice. Impeccable bedside manner. No nonsense, but kind.

Most of the time, Sandra—my partner of 26 years—made the calls because I couldn’t. The thought of Mom’s money running out was enough to make me curl up in bed or cry in the corner or curl up in the corner and cry myself to bed.

Sandy: Hi Jimmy, it’s Sandy. I’m calling about Phyl. Lisa’s here too.
Jimmy: How is Phyllis? (Always the first question.)

Me: (croaking from the corner) Not…that good.
Sandy: Yeah, not great, Jimmy. (Pause.) How many years do you think her money will last at this monthly run rate?

Jimmy: Five to seven years. (Pause.)

I squint up from the corner at Sandy. She nods.

Sandy: Okay, that’s good. Can you send three months’ worth?

(My thought bubble: Excellent. I don’t have to do this again for another three months.)

Pause.

Jimmy: Of course. What happened to Phyllis? She used to be so…vibrant.

Sandy: Uh huh.

Fortunately, my mom had two things working in her favor: a 401(k) and long-term care insurance with Genworth. I don’t remember exactly what she paid for it while she was working, but I do remember this: it was about the cost of a monthly cut and color.

And it was worth every penny.

That Genworth check kept arriving for almost the entire five years she lived in assisted living.

Which brings me back to my period.

Because lately I’ve been thinking about long-term care insurance for myself.

Something reliable.
Something predictable.
Something that shows up every month like clockwork.

Almost like my period used to.

Only this time, instead of cramps… it’s peace of mind.

dōteworthy:

• i am looking forward to reading my mother’s money by beth pinsker. it’s excerpted in aarp.

• here is an article from next avenue that demystifies LTC insurance.

Welcome to anecdōtes, our weekly writing prompt for those of us taking care of aging loved ones while simultaneously googling “am I having a midlife crisis or is this just Tuesday?”

This Week’s Writing Prompt:

If your aging parents’ finances had a personality, what would it be?

dōt.age exists because we’re all navigating the uncharted territory of caring for aging parents, and we need to share our stories.

This isn’t about being a writer—it’s about being human and sharing our messy, unfiltered truths of eldercare.

• Each week, we’ll drop a prompt.

• You write for five minutes.

• No polish, no pressure—just permission to be gloriously imperfect.

• If you want to share what you wrote, send it our way and we’ll share it on our Substack so we can all feel a little less alone in this wild mixtape that is our lives.

SEND TO: LNahmie@gmail.com